Self-Care is Torah Too
Cal Newmann is a student at Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) and the president of VCU Hillel. They shared their story in celebration of Jewish Disability, Awareness, Acceptance, and Inclusion Month.
Before I began attending events 精东影业, I rarely interacted with the Jewish community where I live. I was raised in a multifaith household, and it wasn鈥檛 until my early 20s, during the COVID-19 pandemic, that I finally found the time and space to connect with my Jewish heritage.
When Hillel鈥檚 then-executive director approached me about getting involved on campus a year later, I was ecstatic. I didn鈥檛 even realize there was a Jewish organization at Virginia Commonwealth University. I jumped right in, and I haven鈥檛 looked back.
Because of my disability, I鈥檓 rarely able to go to synagogue. My sleep disorder makes it so I need to be in bed before most services start, and my chronic pain makes sitting in one place for too long prohibitive. Hillel has given me a way to fully participate in my Jewish community. It also offers me the chance to share what I鈥檝e been given: acceptance, connection, and a true sense of belonging. Through Hillel, I鈥檝e met many other Jewish students, including other disabled students, and that has made a huge difference in my life 鈥 reminding me that I鈥檓 not alone.
I鈥檓 also a little older than most college students, which can make it hard to find people my age at a four-year institution. Through Hillel, I鈥檝e been able to connect with Jewish students and members of the Jewish community who feel closer to where I am in life. As student president, I鈥檝e also had the chance to step into leadership and help others who are just beginning their own journeys to find their footing, the way I once did.
Right now, I鈥檓 participating in a Shabbat Hosting Lab cohort, and I love the spirit behind it: making Shabbat your own. As a student with a heavy workload, as well as a disability, the message of accessibility in Jewish practice really resonates with me. The process of exploring what Shabbat means in my life has been powerful, and I鈥檓 excited to host some non-traditional Shabbat gatherings with Jewish friends in a Discord community I鈥檓 part of.
Another part of Judaism I鈥檝e embraced has been learning about the principle of pikuach nefesh, preserving life. Jewish law doesn鈥檛 just allow me to take care of myself 鈥 it requires it.
The best representation of pikuach nefesh that I鈥檝e experienced is how I鈥檝e learned to navigate observing Yom Kippur. Because of my disability, I can鈥檛 fast on Yom Kippur. For a long time, I worried that meant I was doing something wrong, or that I wasn鈥檛 鈥淛ewish enough.鈥 But I鈥檝e come to understand that practicing differently doesn鈥檛 make me a bad Jew. It means I鈥檓 observing with intention.
A rabbi once offered this framing for observing Yom Kippur to me: instead of putting cream and sugar in my coffee, take it black. Or better yet, drink water. That advice helped me let go of guilt. Sometimes I feel like I鈥檓 missing the point of Yom Kippur, the idea of afflicting oneself. Then my own body reminds me that I live with affliction every day. The meaning of the holiday, for me, becomes something else: reflection, humility, and care. I鈥檝e taken this lesson with me into my everyday life as well.
I鈥檓 endlessly grateful for Hillel as a place of belonging. Being student president these past few years has helped me build leadership skills, meet other Jewish students, and most importantly, make new friends.
Even though I鈥檓 a senior and will be graduating at the end of spring, I鈥檒l still be around for another year as part of my master鈥檚 program. I鈥檓 genuinely looking forward to what comes next.